Tuesday, September 7, 2010

There might be hope afterall...

The Lord shows unto us our weaknesses that they may become our strengths. This I know and this I LOVE. Because without this how could we ever hope to progress.

In discussing this yesterday, my fabulous husband says to me, "You don't have any weaknesses." To which I answered with a guttural, push through closed lips, "Puh" of "Yeah you are so wrong" air. Then my mind wandered to a conversation that happened earlier that day with my dear Miss Marlee.

Here's the set up...

There is a child, a neighbor child, who, um... how do I say this nicely?... annoys me to no end. Marlee knows of this annoyance because she sees it ripple off of my head in large fuming waves every time this small person pays us a visit.

So yesterday I say to her, "I'll know that I truly have a Christ-like heart when this child no longer annoys me. Yes on that day there will be hope for me."

Then sweet Marlee says, "Mom, that's never gonna happen."

And I say, "You're right I'm doomed."
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So I tell Rick during our conversation that I do indeed have weaknesses one of which being that I don't have enough love and charity for others.

He says, "Of course you do."

I say, "No, not enough."

Then I prayed. Later that afternoon when I found a quiet moment to myself I prayed. I prayed for the help of my Savior that through him my heart could be changed.

Moments later the annoying child approached me, as he often does, and opened his mouth to talk to me or whine at me (I'm never sure which it will be) as he often does, but stopped--mid sentence--and threw his arms around me instead.

He threw his arms around me and I sincerely hugged him back then said, "Thank you for giving me that hug. That was really nice of you." He walked away beaming and I went with quiet tears streaming down my face and thanked my Father in Heaven for His tender mercy in teaching me so quickly, for showing me His power to change hearts, and for giving me a small example of how it feels to love as His son loveth.

And you know, it is through that love--that tender, PATIENT, perfect love of my Savior-- that I just might find hope for me yet.

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Good is coming...

I didn't know if I'd ever make it back to this blog.
Actually that isn't true. I always knew I would someday get back

1) because I remember hearing how important it is to keep a spiritual journal along with your everyday journal. And

2) Mary over at blogrock made this blog too dang cute to ignore forever.

I think I just needed to step back for awhile and decide where I wanted to go with this. And what I decided is that I don't need this to be a regular blog with a picture for every post and what-not. I simply need this to be a place for me to write down certain thoughts and experiences that teach and bless me in my life so I won't forget them.

Right now I'm going through a learning experience that is somewhat exciting for me. Exciting in that I know at the end of this journey lies the answer to a gut wrenching pain that occasionally resides in the pit of my belly.

This past weekend it was particularly bad. I literally felt like someone was standing on my chest. "What is this about?" I wondered. "Why do I feel this way about this situation?" I didn't understand where my feelings were coming from or how to fix them so I went to the Lord.

I told Him everything that I was experiencing and sought His help to find the answers. And this is where the exciting part comes in...
I received confirmation that if I continue to counsel with Him those answers will come. Apparently I still have things to learn, perhaps even things to do to resolve my internal conflict. I've tried to figure this out on my own for years, only to continually crash and burn with my own ideas of how this should be resolved.

My Heavenly Father and Savior Jesus Christ know exactly what I need to do to fix this and if I'm humble, teachable and patient they will lead me to that knowledge.

I know this because when a woman in my Relief Society class at church on Sunday shared a situation she had been through and told of a scripture she had been lead to that helped her, the spirit told me that it was for me. I listened closely and was blown away. What beautiful words. What a beautiful promise. It gave me hope that my situation does have an answer and that in time it will be resolved.
Exciting.

P.S. If you ever feel prompted to share a thought, scripture or experience in church class or elsewhere, DO IT. You never know when the Lord might be using you as a vehicle to help someone else.

And for those who don't know...
Bliss is where my regular blogging action takes place.
Feel free to check it out if you'd like by clicking on the button below.


Monday, March 29, 2010

Hey, I think I can do this...

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(I found this handy-dandy stationary kit in the Valley of the Sun at a yard sale on Saturday. Love it, love yard sales, love the Valley of the Sun. So fun.)

Yesterday I had the opportunity to teach from the conference talk, "What Have I Done for Someone Today?" by President Thomas S Monson. The title of his talk comes from a story he shares about a father who would ask his children each night around the dinner table, "And what did you do for someone today?" In anticipation of this question, the children were determined to do a good deed everyday so that they could report to their father that they had helped someone.

I love this. I think I'll start practicing this in my own home. Of course this means that I too will have to do something for someone each day. Do you think I can do it? Hmm, I guess it will be fun to try. Because as President Monson says:

"The needs of others are ever present, and each of us can do something to help someone."

Something to help someone. Okay, I think I can do this.

He says:

"We are surrounded by those in need of our attention, our encouragement, our support, our comfort, our kindness—be they family members, friends, acquaintances, or strangers. We are the Lord’s hands here upon the earth, with the mandate to serve and to lift His children. He is dependent upon each of us."

He then goes on to say:

"You may lament: I can barely make it through each day, doing all that I need to do. How can I provide service for others? What can I possibly do?"

Boy do I lament this way. Especially with the question, "What can I possibly do?" In trying to answer this for myself I recently found this bit of advice:

"Decide what it is that impresses you and you will then know what to do to impress others."

One kind act from others that impresses me is receiving thoughtful cards and letters in the mail. I feel so loved and appreciated when someone takes the time to do this for me. And guess what, this is something I can do for someone else--right now--today. How fun is that?

Maybe this giving service thing won't be so hard after all.

P.S. I'm also impressed by gifts of food especially of the sweet tooth variety (or cheese balls. My neighbor makes a mean cheese ball) and guess what, I love to make dessert. It's my favorite thing ever. Wow, I REALLY think I can do this.

And what did you do for someone today?

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Taking a spring break, break...

It's spring break it is. So I'm busy, busy. And on top of that I have to teach at church on Sunday so I'm busy, busier.

So I'll have to come back with more words next week sometime, perhaps some words from the lesson I'm preparing for Sunday. It's good stuff I tell you. Good, good stuff.

Friday, March 19, 2010

What joy this sentence gives...

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There's been a bit of a controversy going on over at the lovely Housewife Savant's blog about her desire to un-follow someone. In a response to the controversy she wrote a hilarious post that you can read here. Love Housewife Savant.

In her very funny post she mentioned me as one of the "Christian" bloggers. This made me smile and got me thinking. So often in my life I question just who I am and what my life is really about and that word sums it up for me in a way that brings great comfort. I am a Christian.

I have always loved my Savior. For as long as I can remember He has been a very important part of my life. But it was when He literally saved my life that I came to understand the magnitude of His love for me. I hope to someday share with you the experiences that have brought me to an absolute knowledge that my Savior lives and that His Atoning sacrifice can truly make any who come unto Him whole and happy.

Yes, I am a Christian.
And as long as I remember that,
I'll be just fine.

Thursday, March 18, 2010

Lets be friends...

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"My great enthusiasm is to give a party at which everybody should meet everybody else and like them very much."

An Invitation
Mr. Gilbert Chesterton
requests the pleasure
of Humanity's Company
to tea on Dec 25th 1896
*
~G.K. Chesterton, journal entry when he was 22 years old

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Shh...

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(My finger is ready for St Patty's Day after making green oreos this morning)

They are an honest people; they never speak well of each other.
~ Dr. Samuel Johnson's tribute to the Irish

Which leads us to the age old question,
Which is better, to be honest or to be nice?

I think the ultimate goal for all of us is to get to a point in our lives where we are HONESTLY NICE. Where we learn to have enough love, empathy and compassion for one another that we only focus on the good and let out a big sigh of relief that it is not our place to judge and never was. Whew. Without judgement we are free to HONESTLY LOVE.

How nice.

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Okay, I'll try...

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In a recent struggle to know if I was following the right counsel concerning one of my children, fear tormented me, clouding my mind. It was then that I was reminded, “The spirit [of God] will never guide through fear.” This reminder helped me to be aware of when fear was controlling my thoughts. At these moments I would try to calm down and clear my mind so that I could be more in tune to what my Father in Heaven wanted me to hear.
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It was also during this time that I began to think that I must be the stupidest person alive for not knowing how to best care for my child. It was then that I was told, “The spirit will never call you stupid.” It was a powerful reminder that this type of thinking was not from God.

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And now as I begin this new blog I find myself being plagued yet again, for reasons that I can’t begin to explain, with feelings of fear and inadequacy. “Who am I to think I can do this?” I have asked myself. “I’m nobody.” And once again, as clearly as it came to me before, I heard the reassuring voice, “The spirit will never tell you that you are nobody.”

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So here I am. Me. And though there will always be times when I struggle with fear and feelings of being a big ol’ stupid nobody, I will continue to fight through it because I know, deep down I know, that I’m a very important somebody in the eyes of my God.

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And guess what...

so are you.

Monday, March 15, 2010

Time to reconnect...

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I did it. I started another blog.

To sum up why I need this new project in my life I direct you to one of my favorite poems (found in O magazine).

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Prayer
By Marie Howe

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Every day I want to speak with you. And every day something more important calls for my attention -- the drugstore, the beauty products, the luggage


I need to buy for the trip. Even now I can hardly sit here
among the falling piles of paper and clothing, the garbage trucks outside already screeching and banging.


The mystics say you are as close as my own breath. Why do I flee from you?
My days and nights pour through me like complaints and become a story I forgot to tell.


Help me. Even as I write these words I am planning to rise from the chair as soon as I finish this sentence.
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Love this poem. So sad that it's so true. And in an attempt to combat that feeling of being pulled in every direction but the one I need the very most, I give myself (and any of y’all who want to come along) “Words For This Day”.

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Words For This Day will be a blog full ‘o inspiration, strength and happiness. Words For This Day will be a mini daily devotional for myself and anyone else who wants to share in my…um…words for this day (compiled from the words of other more brilliant and spectacular people than I of course).

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Posting everyday will be the hard part, but everyday is what I need so everyday is what I’ll shoot for (not sure about the weekends yet, but we’ll see).

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Wish me luck.