It was while scrubbing my shower this morning that the thought flowed through me, "There are many people on the other side who love you very much." I then thought of all of those on the other side who do love me. I saw my Grandpa's face and felt empowered by the army of loved ones buoying me up each day.
My phone rang and after a nice conversation with my dearest love I lay back and thought more about my army of loved ones. I thought of my Grandma and smiled as I remembered a time she showed me the burn scars on her fingers and said, "These really suck." She was in the early stages of Alzheimer's and my sister and I giggled at hearing her use the word "suck".
Remembering that story I whispered, "You understand don't you Grandma? You understand what it feels like to be a woman. To be so hard on yourself and to continuously believe that something about you sucks."
It was then that her love washed over me and I sobbed in her warm embrace.
I opened my eyes and marveled as the ceiling above me seemed to expand higher and higher opening to a feeling of vast limitlessness. Then I heard my Grandma say, "If you had any idea of who you really are, you would never waiver. If you KNEW who you really are..."
I sobbed and trembled as her words penetrated my soul and I knew at that moment that I was sent here for a great purpose, a purpose worth fighting for. So I will fight. I will fight everyday to overcome the deceptions of this world. Deceptions that put such life-shattering, debilitating false value on things that are of no worth. I will fight to not become ensnared by it. I will fight to walk uprightly with boldness and power. And I will fight to always remember who I really am-- because apparently I'm pretty special.