Thursday, August 30, 2012

The Gloves Are Coming Off...

It was while scrubbing my shower this morning that the thought flowed through me, "There are many people on the other side who love you very much."  I then thought of all of those on the other side who do love me.  I saw my Grandpa's face and felt empowered by the army of loved ones buoying me up each day.

My phone rang and after a nice conversation with my dearest love I lay back and thought more about my army of loved ones.  I thought of my Grandma and smiled as I remembered a time she showed me the burn scars on her fingers and said, "These really suck."  She was in the early stages of Alzheimer's and my sister and I giggled at hearing her use the word "suck".

Remembering that story I whispered, "You understand don't you Grandma?  You understand what it feels like to be a woman.  To be so hard on yourself and to continuously believe that something about you sucks."

It was then that her love washed over me and I sobbed in her warm embrace.

I opened my eyes and marveled as the ceiling above me seemed to expand higher and higher opening to a feeling of vast limitlessness. Then I heard my Grandma say, "If you had any idea of who you really are, you would never waiver. If you KNEW who you really are..."

I sobbed and trembled as her words penetrated my soul and I knew at that moment that I was sent here for a great purpose, a purpose worth fighting for.  So I will fight.  I will fight everyday to overcome the deceptions of this world.  Deceptions that put such life-shattering, debilitating false value on things that are of no worth.  I will fight to not become ensnared by it.  I will fight to walk uprightly with boldness and power.  And I will fight to always remember who I really am-- because apparently I'm pretty special.

My Grandma told me so.